


Let's Compare Scars (I'll Tell You Whose is Worse)

by missanomalous



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-12 08:39:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3350390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missanomalous/pseuds/missanomalous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina's not a good person. But that doesn't stop her from helping out a citizen in need.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Compare Scars (I'll Tell You Whose is Worse)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Red Queen Week](http://redqueenweek.tumblr.com)'s Valentine's Day Extravaganza. Prompt: Scars.
> 
> Posted way late at night while under the influence of wine. Will be revised and edited upon sober conditions if they should occur at some point in the future.

Even stripped of her crown, Regina knew she had the right to grumble over the people who lived in the land she had domain over. The sidewalks of her town were thick with snow; the powdery layer that rested on top as a result of the thick flakes that had begun swirling around her a half hour ago giving her no pause, but the dense, crunchy layer as a result of the day's weather filled her with rage. What kind of lazy ingrates didn't shovel their sidewalks at the end of the day? Regina may not do her own personally, but she's always quick to call the boy down the street who she pays to clear her walkway whenever she spots even a faint layer building up throughout the day. She made a mental note to bring up the issue at the next city council meeting as she trudged her way once more down the block of her home, her hopes of a quiet evening stroll to distract her from the day on the calendar officially obliterated by the lack of common courtesy from her community.

 

But she stopped in her tracks at the sound of a curse word, given with an acid-dripped tone, came slicing through the quiet night. Whirling around, the mayor scanned the empty streets, squinting through the orange haze the outdoor lights created when combined with the overcast skies and snowflake-filled air. The figure was on the edge of the sidewalk a little ways down the block from where Regina stood, the colour of the jacket wrapped around the person filling Regina with a small bit of wariness as it always did. Ruby looked good in red though, she couldn't fault her for sticking to the scheme, but the constant reminder was tiring when there were so few others in her world. Rumple was no longer in the least bit threatening, Archie certainly wasn't a cricket, and even Snow had lost the locks that framed her face in an agonizingly angelic way. But Red remained dressed in her trademark colour, even when stripped of her identity.

 

The act of subconscious defiance was what left Regina feeling uneasy as she glanced around once more, aware that the waitress hadn't yet identified another person in the vicinity. But a quick look at her watch reminded her how late an hour it was to be cursing in the streets, and a sudden rush of wind tugged at her conscience too hard to be ignored as she imagined how unpleasant sitting in the snow generally is. Even as she approached, however, Ruby seemed to give no such consideration as she remained firmly planted on the snow-covered curb, bent over as she let out a string of expletives that frankly impressed Regina due to how smoothly they seemed to flow.

 

"Are you having some trouble, Miss Lucas?"

 

The waitress jumped at the words but tried to mask it with a shiver and a glare as she glanced behind her shoulder. Regina could see it now, the glassiness of her eyes, how clumsily her long limbs seemed to be moving. Her left leg was stretched out before her with the pant legs seemingly rolled up as far as it would go on Ruby's calf, though the skin-tight denim didn't seem to provide much leeway. What she had managed to bunch up showed a purple ankle, a strap from her red heel tied around it and pressing against the skin at an unnatural angle. Her foot was similarly in disarray; bloodied and mottled with two toes having slipped from their proper place. Regina found Ruby's eyes again as she came to a stop at her side and the girl gazed back defiantly in return.

 

"Not at all, Madam Mayor. Everything's coming up Ruby." Regina felt something stir inside her at the words. How long had it been since someone other than herself had seemed even remotely amusing? Her immediate reaction was a ghastly desire to ask Ruby if she was interested in musicals, if she preferred Lansbury or Daly as Rose – when in reality it was more likely for Ruby to know the phrase rather than the origin – but thankfully she was cut off before she could give into the impulse. "Valentine's Day is clearly ending fan-fucking-tastically, so feel free to mark this as another successful holiday in your town's history books."

 

She was rambling a little, and some of her words sounded as if they were sticking together as they exited her mouth, but Ruby appeared to be relatively cognizant. Still, as she turned back to attend to her apparently troublesome shoe, her fingers were slow and awkward as they tried to rid herself of it. Maybe it was because she had almost made Regina smile with a quip, or perhaps it was because it was almost invigorating to be in the presence of someone in this town who was the least bit acerbic for a moment, but Regina found herself ridding her hands of her gloves and kneeling in the street next to Ruby's stretched out leg. Though the waitress had allowed herself to be shooed away from the task, Ruby's unease was so palpable Regina could feel her hazel eyes burning a hole into her temple.

 

"Mayor Mills kneeling in the street." It was nothing, really. A random drunken thought, the insinuation only there because Ruby's breath smelled of rum.

 

"Imagine the scandal," Regina replied dryly as she unlatched the small buckle pressed against Ruby's ankle bone. She eased the heel off carefully, watching from the corner of her eye as the girl's pretty face twisted into an expression of anguish, though her voice gave no indication of the pain as she pressed on. This was an odd role for her: caretaker. It didn't feel like it fit, but Regina had been the one doling out pain for so long that it felt overdue. She was tired of being the bad guy, even if she was a retired one.

 

"I guess you'd do this for all of your citizens?"

 

"Only if they're voting age." She turned to face her, watching Ruby's stoic face relax after a blink, her red lips smoothing into a smile. It struck Regina that perhaps Ruby was a little desperate for some signs of life in this town, too. Her gaze dropped once again to the leg before her, inspecting the damage done to it as the heel of Ruby's foot remained balanced in the palm of her hand. "Heels don't seem to be that smart when combined with rum and cokes."

 

"I was doing fine on the streets where people bothered to shovel their fucking sidewalks." The angry energy had dissipated, but alcohol seemed to leave Ruby with a chip on her shoulder and Regina loved it, given the context. She did so appreciate like-minded people. The younger woman stood shakily on one leg, her left foot held up behind her and quickly turning pink in the climate. It dyed the snow beneath it red as the few cuts gave an aggravated protest at being moved from Regina's care. "What the Christ is wrong with people?"

 

"Quite a bit, I've found." Cognizant or not, the change in position gave Regina a clear indication to Ruby's current level of intoxication; she was put together enough to air a cogent argument, but evidently not coordinated enough to handle the effects of rum, snow, and her impossible footwear. She certainly wasn't making it far tonight, unless she was fine with losing a few toes to frostbite in the process. "I have a first aid kit at home."

 

"Congratulations."

 

Regina felt both pleased and annoyed at the quip. There was something nice about Ruby snapping at her, willing to show a level of insolence to Regina's face rather than wait for her to walk away so she could make a snide comment behind her back. On the other hand, as refreshing as it was to have someone openly be an asshole to her, she found her posture straightening and her goodwill slip just the slightest. "Fine," she began breezily, holding Ruby's forgotten shoe out for her to take, "then I'll leave you to enjoy the rest of your night."

 

She snatched the shoe back, but Ruby made no further movement. Her gaze seemed to flit in and out of focus but it remained hardened and challenging as it held Regina's. But the mayor didn't give into the temptation, promptly turning on the spot to march towards her home once more as she left Ruby in her flamingo position. She only made it a few feet before she was stopped, the corner of her lip tugging up at the sound of Ruby's voice before she heard the words.

 

"Pretty lousy Valentine you turned out to be, fuckface."

 

The laugh began in her stomach but Regina extinguished it before it could be brought to life, smothering it much the same way she smothered the smile. Certainly a new nickname to add to her repertoire, and as she turned back to look at the lithe girl who stood tall on one leg in the whirling snow, she found an image to keep as well. "Apparently my date doesn't spark my romantic muse." Her eyes squinted and ran down her counterpart's figure. "Or maybe she's just obstinate and too tiring to deal with."

 

"Oh, there's no 'maybe' in the l-l _att_ er," she tripped over the word but paid no mind, her slurring words interrupted by the occasional shiver, "but I'm pretty goddamn sure that that first sentence of yours has never been said before."

 

"I presume you only mean in reference to yourself?"

 

"Are you going to help me or what? What kind of civil servant just gives lip when their citizens are in need?" Still dressed in one heel, and already towering over Regina without it, the configurement of the two women proved to be an awkward match as Ruby threw her arm around Regina's shoulder. The waitress showed no signs of being untrustworthy now, leaning into Regina with her full weight as they hobbled down the snow-packed sidewalks, but that didn't stop her mouth from running. "I take it you haven't spent your holiday weekend getting laid. Do you even, like, demean yourself to such pedestrian things?"

 

"Demeaning and pedestrian things like having sex?"

 

"Demeaning and pedestrian things like having sex with _these_ people," Ruby explained as she waved an uncoordinated hand in the direction of the houses they had passed, already nearing the grand white mini-mansion that was Regina's abode.

 

"Do I strike you as virginal when compared to them?"

 

"No, you just strike me as  _above_ them and as someone who's not super willing to compromise." Ruby's rum-laced breath brushed Regina's cheek as she leaned down to purr out, "The Inn's ledger would never allow me to think you're at all virginal."

 

Regina allowed Ruby to wait for a flush that wouldn't appear as she attempted to remember her and Graham's last visit to the room they rented for the night but only kept for the day (a sad attempt at some sort of reprieve in their routine), knowing there must have been a recent visit for it to remain in the waitress' mind so clearly. Usually such memories would fade away almost instantly with her townsfolk. But much like her annoying adherence to her old world colour scheme, Ruby seemed to fight against the curse's other rules as well. Stubborn little bitch. "Then I guess you know I'm not quite so far above them as I'd like to be."

 

She looked poised to say something else, but her drunken mind appeared to have developed some kind of filter for the time being, and Ruby remained silent as they slowly made their way up the path to the grand house. She unlatched from Regina as the mayor unlocked the front door and pushed through without warning, limping in on her left heel before she sat at the first small staircase that split the foyer. Regina rid herself of her coat while Ruby undid the buckle on her remaining shoe, her motor skills seeming to have returned now that they were out of the wind. It felt like her first real look at the girl in a decade, even if she spent more time than she'd like to admit glancing at the once werewolf in her new workplace. Snowflakes still stuck, perfectly formed, to her red-streak chestnut hair, her striking jawline emphasized by the pink tint in her cheeks. She seemed both younger and older in this land; immature and blasé as she worked, carnal and clever as she preyed. Regina wasn't sure what to make of the changes her curse had brought to Red, the girl she knew so little of, but she decided that she liked them. Little Red Riding Hood didn't seem nearly as interesting as her beastly counterpart, after all.

 

"The kit is upstairs, I'll–"

 

The younger woman was up before Regina could suggest the solo mission, putting little pressure on her left foot as she moved. She was walking well enough on her own, but allowed herself to take Regina's arm once more as they made their way up to the second floor. Ruby didn't even attempt to hide the fact that she was looking around for some sort of defining feature other than the architecture.

 

"Too modernist for your taste?"

 

The woman didn't comment, only continued to look around as they turn down the hallway. She found her voice once more when they passed through the threshold to her bedroom. "What do you  _do_ on weekends?"

 

"What do you do?" Regina countered, setting her down on the bed and stepping into the ensuite to find her first aid stuff.

 

"Get drunk and sit on the curb until someone comes and picks me up, obviously."

 

Regina allowed the smirk to bloom for Ruby to see when she reentered, a damp washcloth and small kit under her arm. The waitress was leaning back on her hands, neck idly rolling around as she took note of the furniture. She seemed out of place; a violent, bright splash of red in the midst of Regina's neutral tones, and Regina liked her all the more for it. Now that they were in some reasonable light, she could actually take note of the damage Ruby had done to her ankle, but found herself more interested in the dark patch of red staining the denim over the knee that she hadn't noticed before.

 

"You did a number on yourself."

 

A blink was the reply, as if Ruby had forgotten her reason for being on Regina's bed in the short time it took the mayor to step into her bathroom. Her gaze focused and turned down to where the older woman's had been, and Ruby gave a defeated sigh before shrugging off her coat. "Snow in heels? Fine. Snow in heels while drunk? Manageable." Her hands fell to the button on her jeans in sync with Regina kneeling on the floor, leading the mayor to feel somewhat bemused by the situation she had found herself in so unexpectedly. Ruby paid no mind though, peeling her pants down her hips as if there were no one else there. "Now, snow in heels while drunk and feeling ready to go on a murderous rampage? Apparently that's my tipping point."

 

Regina paused and tried to make out Ruby's expression, but it was twisted in frustration as she tried to push her jeans over her knees. She let out a hiss, presumably from the feel of the denim scraping against her newfound wound, prompting Regina to set down her things to push away the brunette's hands. "God, you're like an impatient child."

 

"I don't think I've ever seen you so much as speak to a child before."

 

The jeans were just too goddamn small, and that was really the issue at hand. Regina had never dabbled, but she wasn't so set in her ways as to not be able to appreciate the girl's legs when she strutted around the diner in shorts that didn't reach the hem of her apron. This, however, was much too far to go in order to show them off. She was so busy worming the pant leg down Ruby's bruised ankle that she nearly forgot to scoff at the remark. "I love children," she replied evenly, not allowing her vision to roam past the waitress' knee for fear of daring herself to see what kind of underwear a 90's Ruby would – or  _wouldn't_ – wear. "And you're hardly the expert on Regina Mills if you think otherwise. What happened tonight?"

 

She couldn't see it, but she was sure the response was another clarity-forcing blink as Ruby tried to think back to their earlier conversation. "Just a creep. Be glad you're so above them, the people here certainly aren't worth the effort."

 

"They certainly aren't." Questions of who Ruby was talking about and what, exactly, transpired were on the tip of her tongue, but Regina gave no more comment on the subject. She had successfully gotten Ruby Lucas out of her pants and took a moment to appreciate the thought. Even if there was a nagging, acerbic voice in the back of her head attempting to make her think some snide comment about just how big of an accomplishment that was. But she buried it, because Ruby was drunk and caustic and providing exactly the type of interaction Regina hadn't known she so desperately missed. So she took to her task, folding the warm, damp cloth into a square and pressing it against the bloodied scrape. Ruby didn't so much as wince, but the question that broke their small reprieve caught Regina so off-guard she had to ask her to repeat herself.

 

"I said, doesn't everyone get crazy on full moons?"

 

"If they do, it's seemingly not a murderous rampage kind of crazy," Regina replied when she found her voice. It shook her, those jarring questions that were meant to be innocuous commentary. It always seemed to be some small window into the old world and it put her on edge as she wet a cotton ball with disinfectant and cleaned the marred skin.

 

" _Jesuscocksuckingchrist_ ," Ruby hissed under her breath, earning a laugh from Regina which prompted a glare.

 

"I never knew you had such a terrible mouth on you. You're always so pleasant and cheerful at your grandmother's restaurant."

 

"And sober."

 

"How drunk are you, Ruby?" She liked the feel of the name rounded name in her mouth, the way it rolled off tongue and slipped past her lips. Regina couldn't truly take credit for the change, but it was her curse that gave it to the girl. The scrape on her knee seemed small now as she covered it with a wide bandage, but she feared the jagged mark would leave a scar. Regina didn't mention it, however, instead choosing to move on to press another damp cotton ball to another cut, this time on the side of her foot. Ruby didn't seem like the type to care about scars.

 

"Well, not drunk enough to give into, or kill, a total asshole, so points for me." Bruised to hell undoubtedly, but upon closer inspection of Ruby's lower calf, there didn't seem to be much Regina could do other than clean up the few small cuts. She glanced at the kit next to her leg, nudging some things aside until she spotted a roll of bandages, not realizing there had been a small pause in Ruby's words until she had gingerly placed the injured ankle on her thigh and had almost began wrapping it up. "But evidently drunk enough to end up in someone's bedroom with my pants off."

 

Another smirk that she allowed to bloom uninterrupted and in full view as she wrapped the beige bandage in the precise order called for. "After you called me 'fuckface', nonetheless. Very smooth. Ruby Lucas truly does live up to the reputation her clothes give her."

 

She glanced up to find Ruby's hazel eyes narrowed in on her, her red lips still turned up in a natural smile but her vision startling focused once more. The younger woman leaned forward a little, the smell of spiced rum on her breath almost making Regina want to close the gap between them. "He must bore you to tears."

 

It was Regina's turn to blink in surprise, almost shrinking back at the assertion and its terrifying accuracy. Of course Graham bored her to tears; he was a distraction at the most and a subpar one at that. But how dare Ruby be the one to bring it to words? Regina busied herself with cutting the bandage and clipping it together with the metal fasteners, trying to keep her voice breezy when she finally reminded herself to reply. "It passes the time."

 

Meeting Ruby's gaze was meant to be a challenge of sorts, an attempt to let the girl know that Regina Mills would not be put off course by such a small setback like a shot at her partners in bed. Even if it was a pointed and eye-opening one. But Ruby's expression had lost all of its mocking, all of its mirth, and was replaced with one of understanding and it struck Regina once more. The moment between them couldn't have lasted long, but it shook the once Queen in a way she didn't fully discern.

 

The rum tasted as good on Ruby's lips as it had smelled, but Regina forced herself not to give in immediately, made herself remember that she certainly wasn't the one who was drunk and not thinking clearly. But no reason to stop Ruby's advances came to mind – the girl would forget, Regina could enjoy the night without consequences once enough time had passed. And that's what all of this was about, wasn't it? Passing the time?

 

Regina leaned upon her knees, hands on either side of Ruby's hips as her mouth slanted left to counter the right angle of the other woman's. She felt bold and aggressive once again, reinvigorated by Ruby's insolence, her sailor-talk mouth, her teasing smiles. Had missed the challenge, missed the spirit of someone who was clearly willing to fuck her rather than dutifully make love to her as if it were a chore. There hadn't been a moment in her mind before Ruby kissed her that Regina actually thought she would end up with her tongue in her mouth, but she felt like she'd been craving it the whole time now that her jaw was being firmly held by the other girl.

 

Ruby's jacket was pushed onto the ground, her shirt joining it quickly after as Regina tugged at the zipper on her dress and leaned forward. But the brunette pulled away, just far enough that she could help tug the fabric down Regina's hips, smoothing her hands up the mayor's sides when it fell. "I guess I should have known that the first time you were ever nice to me was because you were trying to get me into your bed."

 

The return to banter took the edge off and Regina grinned as she pushed Ruby back onto the mattress and slid overtop of her. "This just happened to be the first time I found a reason other than your appearance to find you appealing."

 

Her hands slid through Regina's short hair, languid and slow as if to stamp down the rush of urgency their initial kiss had instilled. "Because I'm drunk?"

 

"Because it was the first time you weren't nice to me," came Regina's murmured reply as she stared down at the girl below her. What a terrible idea this would certainly turn out to be tomorrow, if Regina knew her luck. What a silly thing to want to fuck Snow's best friend and not have it at all to do with the idea of some revenge against the aforementioned girl. Though, maybe in the morning the satisfaction about that particular aspect would sink in. But once more Ruby expressed a look of acknowledgement, one that left Regina angry that she had never given this girl her due. She hated her in the last world, wrote her off in this one, but she remained testing her curse and challenging Madam Mayor. 

 

They kissed again, this time more slowly and cautiously than before. She felt Ruby's tongue dart out to flick against her top lip when she pulled back to readjust herself on the bed. "How'd you get the scar?"

 

"My mother." It was an immediate response, given as if she were a trained to do so, even though it was a question she rarely answered. But she was feeling understood tonight and Ruby didn't seem to be one to disappoint, not missing a beat before she countered.

 

"I'm willing to bet that your mother's the type to get all kinds of angry at the idea of a girl in your bed."

 

Regina damn near beamed, almost hating herself for the giddiness the idea brought. It was more than safe to say that Cora would be livid if she knew what her daughter was up to, and even after all these years and with no fake marriage to keep together, Regina could revel in that. She could allow herself to be rolled over and pushed back, to be mottled from hip to neck by Ruby's mouth and then fucked by her tongue. Because the freedom to do these things was more than definitely one of the reasons why Regina came to this wretched world in the first place.

 

And Ruby definitely didn't disappoint, Regina hadn't considered the idea that she could, and even if she had, the girl left no room for doubt that evening. She held down Regina's hips and remained planted between her legs for god only knew how long, her taped ankle stretched up behind her as she looked up at Regina through her lashes. She seemed intent on making a point, and the mayor, being the ever dutiful civil servant that she was, encouraged her all the way. Her mind drifted to Graham a few times, though only to remind her of the stark contrast there could be between the wolves she allowed in her bed. Why, oh why, had she gone for such a docile one when an unleashed Red was nearby?

 

She had never been with a woman, though it didn't seem all that surprising considering her other attempts at a love life. The idea didn't fill her with some identity crisis but the raven-haired woman remained nervous nonetheless, desperate to not falter in returning the orgasm that had felt like it clawed its way out of her. Ruby didn't seem to be the type to let her do a poor job though; her rough gasp as Regina captured a pert pink nipple in her mouth filled her with a sense of accomplishment and encouragement she hadn't felt in years.

 

But Regina slowed as her fingers brushed across the girl's toned midriff, the pads coming across the craggy edge of what felt like, and she confirmed to be, a vicious scar. She hadn't noticed it while undressing Ruby, but it was glaringly evident against the waitress' porcelain skin. Her mind hazy from endorphins, Regina pressed a kiss against the girl's clavicle and, without thinking, asked, "How did you get  _your_ scar?"

 

"I don't know." Ruby's voice was small but it made Regina's heart stop when she realized her mistake. The girl sounded lost, and she undoubtedly was; in a hazy sea of memories that had been scrambled in her brain and replaced with a fog of nothing.

 

Regina didn't think, didn't allow herself an extra moment for fear of giving Ruby one. Her hand slid down to the juncture at Ruby's thighs and she pressed two fingers into the girl with no preamble and no resistance. The brunette spasmed beneath her, her injured leg flying up to hook around the back of Regina's thigh as she gave a startled cry. Her pace was relentless, the speed undoubtedly making up for any inexperience on her part when she was partnered with someone who was currently less-than-discerning.

 

But even if it was enough to make Ruby forget about the idiotic question, Regina felt somewhat unsatisfied as she watched the girl squirm beneath her. Her gaze fell on the pink mark once more, and before she knew it was happening, her lips pressed against the roughly healed skin, willing by some grace of some god that a false memory would appear. That Ruby could be allowed this comfort of having some notion from the past, even if she would forever remain Red underneath it all.

 

She was in no condition to walk home and Regina, despite her setback, wasn't in any particular hurry to lose the first moment of intimacy she had shared in decades. Her tired muscles and Ruby's warmth allowed her to forget the idiotic question and Ruby's expression of confusion long enough for her to fall asleep. They weren't wrapped up in each other, but she felt the other woman's breath against her shoulder as her eyes closed, and felt it there once more when they opened.

 

Ruby was already awake, her face blank until she noticed Regina's brown eyes on her. She gave a half-smile as Regina turned to face her, looking sober and calm and so unlike that smirking girl who had all but waltzed into Regina's bedroom the night before. She wasn't awkward though, not shy or bashful to be in that position, and it put Regina at ease as she rolled on her side to face her bedmate.

 

"I was young... But not very, most kids already knew how." Regina's eyebrows furrowed but Ruby paid her no mind, just chewed on her lip for a half a minute while her eyes flitted back and forth in small, rapid movements like she was deciphering something that Regina couldn't see. "In the forest, on one of those roads with the drop-off ditches, you know? I don't know why we were all the way out there, but we were. I think. I just remember the forest and that I got this there and... I was never great on a bike, so..."

 

It wasn't until she noticed Ruby's hand idly tracing her scar over the sheets that Regina clued into what the hell she was talking about. But knowing what prompted this random, rambling story didn't make her feel any better. It didn't comfort her to think that perhaps a little magic got through and fulfilled Regina's wish to implant some seed of a story in Ruby's head. It made her stomach turn and head reel to be reminded of the hundreds of lies that built up her day-to-day world, that kept Ruby trapped in a haze of half-memories in a town that would be sucking the life out of her if she had one to live. But even with her years slowly being rinsed and repeated, the state of arrested development seemed to be weighing on Ruby anyway, if their shared moments the night before were anything to go by.

 

"But I'm totally fine now though, you know." Evidently, Regina wasn't a very good actress in the mornings, or perhaps the feeling of self-loathing had become too grating for her to disguise, because she gave herself away and earned Ruby's concerned gaze from the pillow next to hers. The former Queen felt the bandage on the girl's ankle brush against her own bare skin as she continued, "Regina?"

 

She had never heard Ruby say her name, nor had she ever heard it from Red's mouth, for that matter. But it sounded so jarring that Regina nearly sobbed as the strange emotional upheaval clashed inside her mind. Her eyes were dry but strained, and she shook her head when Ruby reached forward to touch her, lips shaking a little as she tried to collect herself. Regina couldn't verbalize the feeling of contempt for herself if she tried, but the waitress was clearly waiting for an answer and the mayor didn't find herself in a position to demand her exit just yet. 

 

"I'm not a good person, Ruby." Regina couldn't explain why she said it, or why she felt the need to say it to Ruby, of all people. But she had felt the words slamming against the back of her lips, demanding to be released to from their confinement and be verbalized for at least her own ears to listen to. Ruby was hard to read, especially now when she had no rum to loosen her hold. Her hazel eyes appeared especially green in the morning sun, her smeared makeup making Regina feel like she was looking at the girl through a blurry camera lens.

 

"You're not so bad, fuckface." Whether the sound she was going to make was a laugh or a sob, it was choked down. But she was grateful, and conveyed as much as sincerely as she could with a kiss bestowed on the toned down girl who now occupied her bed. It wasn't enough – obviously it wasn't. Ruby didn't know anything, Regina knew too much. She wasn't a good person, not anymore. And because of things she could never convey to this girl. But Ruby would forget all of this soon enough. If Regina left the girl alone for awhile, eventually this morning would fade into all of the other Valentine's Day morning afters Ruby might have shared with the unworthy citizens of Storybrooke.

 

But maybe, Regina thought as the young girl moved across the short space between them to slide her sleep-warmed arms around the mayor's waist, she would have to allow this unexpected encounter to linger for awhile, to stretch on a few months before she left Ruby in peace to fade into the background. The soft spot she had developed would undoubtedly harden, Regina knew herself and her defence mechanisms too well to try to delude herself into thinking she had found a new confidant. Regina would cut Ruby's leash eventually. But for the time being she would stop and enjoy some vague signs of life in Storybrooke once more. Regina sighed against Ruby's mouth as the girl sucked on the small indent that jutted out from her top lip, responding in kind by snaking her hand up to slide across the jagged mark over Ruby's ribs.


End file.
